I guess getting lost means loosing who you are, what you want most in life, things that matter most to you.
That been said, I am lost *straight face*
“How did you let that happen?” Some might ask.
I didn’t, it just happened!
I put everything into a work that ended up draining my whole essence,drive and purpose, eeh maybe not purpose but hasn’t it?
Some days are clear with me being a bright and enthusiastic lady and some, sad, lonely, upset,disoriented.
I was consumed by the fact that I was building my first app but the constant nagging and abusive phone calls kept tugging at my resolve till I finally yielded and let go.
In all honesty, I was and still scared of what that dark corridor holds in store and sometimes I tell myself that I am curious enough to explore it and other times, I’m just scared.
People chat with me and see a young, brilliant and smart lady but I look at myself and see a young, LOST girl who having conquered all her past demons, has been given a new set of demons to battle with.
Her problem, she doesn’t know what she is battling!
At times, it seems like just laziness but most times its not that!
I need help!!! But how can I ask for help when I have yet to fathom the problem ;(
Could it be mid-life crisis?
Isn’t that too early for a 22-year old lady?
Or does mid-life crisis have an age group?
In the cause of trying to figure out a way out of this terribly misty room, I keep making hasty decisions that I end up regretting and suffering for…
He at least tried to stop this one but I didn’t listen….
I really wish I had listened but the excitement that I had gotten the gig regardless of how I had fumbled at the interview clouded my eyes and clogged my brain.
I should have listened!
I can’t even give anything ‘cos I ain’t got nothing to give!
I’m empty! Well,.. not totally but almost, at least below average healthy level.
I am here staring at my DIRTY WHITE COLORED LAPTOP wondering how to tell you that I yearn for just a ray of light to shine through.
I can’t even go to events as I fear that I might just embarrass myself and worsen things than they already are.
Just give it a shot, what’s the worse that can happen?, go out more…..
How do you deal with your own demons?
The Lost girl.